Nature, Love, and Pain Are the Same.
Cutesy little Newsletter + Two new Poems.
hello hello. before i begin, i just want to state for the record just how hectic and packed my week has been, so much so that i did not get a chance to write the newsletter. so, i am sorry for being a day late. nonetheless, it is saturday as i write this piece and i have just gotten back home from a class. life is chaos in its eternal beauty.
this weeks newsletter is a tad bit different from what you lot are used to. today, i will be sharing two poems i wrote this past week. funnily enough, i wrote them at uni.
bit of a backstory, my university is MASSIVE. and the place is literally a garden. i’m not even kidding, there are trees and greenery and grounds everywhere. it is so shocking to see ACTUAL soil and greenery everyday after living in Bahrain for so long. hence, i have gotten into the habit of sitting in one of the courtyards next to my building and writing poems. god. it works so hard. i love it.
anyway, here is the first of the two poems, Dimensionality:
to and fro the light string,
times extension feeds the throats
of whispers and empty stories,
where the greatest wins and
free ideas thrown to garbage,
villainous propaganda succumbs
to the goodness of the village.
winds don’t blow in mines,
fields are ridden with hungry wolves,
awaiting your mistake to
leach at your throat.
god may forgive the stolen goods,
but where the line extends,
we end.
greater good and greater promises,
sit with the deeds for a moment just.
we were born in backseats,
in the shadow of who you seem to be,
scars from teens, wounds from adultery.
the power in this story.
greed for something stronger,
runs through your veins,
splashing to your heart,
and our lightening-struck brains.
crowded rooms scare you,
hoards seem to you dislike,
memories of parking lots bring despise.
how long, moon child, may you run from the truth?
destined for you the destiny never override,
split of a second.
beat of the drum.
stomp on a heart.
and this never comes through.
hidden in the shadow is your true,
shame, for you,
life without acceptance will always be blue.
this hits so damn hard. if you’ve never experienced some form of “criminal glances” kinda romance, i’m sorry but this just isn’t for you. never fret, the next one might do it if this didn’t.
here is Walk Around The Gardens, Mid-Afternoon:
fire burns the paper straight,
corroded art that hangs astray,
dust in the wind is all we become,
force to speak, never to return.
you move to me in motionless waves,
the water drips in slow breaks,
first time i hear you say my name.
i don’t say i never liked it.
i don’t say i’ve never liked it before.
we speak words of misery and pain,
wonder how beautiful ache became.
i disappear into nothingness,
or your eyes may seem to think,
for you i’m a shadow,
sun for me you became.
and every day i go back to it,
every day i get burnt,
but scars of battlefield have no avail,
on the heart that belongs to the blade,
how lovely it is to be wounded by you.
okay did that hit or not?
the song i gravitated towards the most this past week was “Everywhere, Everything” by Noah Kahan. this song gives me a new sense of life. every time i found myself trying to subconsciously ruin my life, i played it and let myself dance around the room.
both of these poems are about that aforementioned “stolen glances and random smiles” kinda attraction. where you don’t know what is causing this but it just seems to be happening. something that you least expected turns into something you most dread. these poems are designed to split the room in a way. i very consciously wrote them to be somewhere on the median between romance and heartbreak.
what i felt while writing these poems i sincerely remember and the moral i shall share with you: allow yourself to feel. for so long i had over-complicated my life with random questions of where i should go and what i should do or who i should be. in the end, i always pointed to where i lacked. that ended me up with a cruelty-full, non-organic, zoloft and xanax infused drink of choice, self-sabotage.
what i ask of you, catch yourself. the moment you see yourself slipping into a spiral, take a breath and allow yourself to FEEL! it is okay to have emotions and it is okay for you to be happy. as i benefited a lot from a friends presentation on “How To Make Your Life A Rom-Com”, i learnt to not second-guess myself. let the times flow and let whatever happens, happen. the best things in life are unexpected sometimes. don’t close the door just yet.
until next time, ciao
x