Let the Light In.
Sylvia Plath instigating a Psychoanalysis.
hello hello. requited or un, romance has a way of seeping into your life with no regard to any variables. such is the way of life, and you can’t do much about it. all you really should do is allow it to flow through you; do not block it out.
this weeks newsletter is about love and grief.
for a month now, i have been reading Ariel by Sylvia Plath a lot. i’d been pining to read this book for ages and when i found out that the library in my uni has a copy, i borrowed it immediately. today, i sat down to go through it again. one of the very early poems in the book, “Lady Lazarus” has been hitting my heart like a hammer.
Plath, if you don’t know, if one of my favorite poets of all time. her work, preserved in the most beautiful of rawness, is written with such purity that you cannot help but connect to it. the way she depicts her story, especially in Ariel, is completely unfiltered so much so that her pain bleeds out of every word she has written. in the thick of Lady Lazarus, Plath’s choice of words become so clearly intentional to the poem, with her rhymes tearing me to shreds.
when i read this poem, just like so many of Sylvia Plath’s work, i was encapsulated by the effortlessness in her writing. although not effortless at all, she writes from experience that reads like a very intricately sculpted journal; her pain is showcased in its essence and purity.
this got me thinking about my own writing style and how i seem to not have a filter when it comes to poetry. hence, i sat back and opened up my little poetry notebook and started reading. what i realized gave a shock to my core.
in its fundamentality, all of the poems i have written in that journal come from a place of love. moreover, the absence, or the blockage, of love.
i have been so haunted by the idea of love that my brain had subconsciously started to fight it off. becoming more aware of my surroundings, i started to fight every instinct i had and cutting off access to love entering my world. that, in turn, put me in a spot where my heart longed for the love that my brain was battling against.
the song that has been resonating with me lately has been “Each Time You Fall In Love” by Cigarettes After Sex. i posted a poem from my journal collection to this song on my Instagram story last night because its the perfect depiction of my state at the moment.
i have been cursed, or maybe blessed, with the power of psychoanalysis. this is something i tend to do to other people, but also to myself. after having analyzed myself, i began to see a few things more clearly. hence, i came to this conclusion:
please do not fight love. let yourself feel and allow yourself to hope. the longer you stay blocking out love, the harder it’ll be for you to accept it again. the idea of grief that comes with love can be scary. love and grief complete each other; one cannot exist without the other.
where there is love, only there could ever be grief. do not shy away from it. as hard as it may be, love in its essence is beauty and grace. it heals you and no matter what the future may hold, love is an experience so worth the risk. take a chance on your heart.
until next time, ciao
x